And So It Begins…
Grate OneTaken February 16, 2009 with Canon PowerShot A550
I’m thinking
that
having her
mother sic the
cops on
her might make
things worse.Well, this is a weird space I’m in… I feel like I’ve been through a cheese grater, hence the pic above, which is not a cheese grater, but it’s the closest I could come up with, without getting the camera out. Not to mention, finding a cheese grater.
The Sire did abandon the house. I haven’t spoken to him about it, and don’t intend to, after what happened to Kyla once she discovered his whereabouts and managed to get him on the phone.
She begged him to reconsider, cajoled him, humoured him, attempted to bribe him, and, as a last resort said something she didn’t ever want to say.
All she wanted of him, was to get a piece of paper and a pen, and write down a phone number…
The phone number was of a person that I had spoken to, who was interested in taking over the mortgage to the house, even knowing that the house was in terrible condition.
The Sire wouldn’t take the number. The Evil Hypnotist ability she has doesn’t work on him.
And then Ky took a great big breath and said something that I never would have expected to come out of her mouth.
She told her father that if he didn’t take the number and try to save his own ass, that she would never speak to him or have anything to do with him ever again.
And he hung up on her.
She won’t get out of bed, now. I mean that nearly literally – she gets up to go to the bathroom, and to let her dog out, and sometimes to eat. That’s it.
She refuses to go to school, and the only way I can force her is to have her charged with truancy. I’m thinking that having her mother sic the cops on her might make things worse.
I don’t know how to fix this for her. I think she’s hoping he’ll call, so that she can change her mind, but he hasn’t yet, and something tells me that’s not going to happen.
I’m working on “lawyering up”, but it’s a slow go. I can get a Family Law lawyer to work on the child support issue, but no one I talk to seems to know who to call over the house business.
It’s the house business that I’m most concerned about. I don’t know yet if I can sell this house without The Sire’s cooperation or not (I’m thinking it’s “not”, though…), but that’s what I’m trying for, right now. I have two interested parties, and a lot of hope.
This would go much faster if my work schedule would cooperate. I’m back on nights again for the next few shifts, and that makes it difficult to be awake during “lawyer’s hours”. Most of my calls end with me waiting to hear back from people with answers to my questions, and there haven’t been many answers so far.
One way or another, this will all work out. I’ve got my fingers crossed that at the end of it all, my daughter remains a whole human being.
My heart hurts.
Random Song-for-the-Day: “Two of Us” – The Beatles
See Les Becker’s
“Photo-Play” Gallery!
This entry was posted
on Friday, May 8th, 2009 at 3:37 pm and is filed under Oddness.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Stumble This Post!
May 9th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
This is what happens when I bug out on blogs for a little while? Holy crap. I just read backward and caught up. The Sire is a real peach, huh? Keep us posted on what happens next, and I’ll not be so absent.
Tell Ky to get OUT of bed, to school, and get back to singing. No amount of lying around is going to solve this problem. Yeah. Easy for me to say. Poor kiddo
Does she have a favorite teacher who might be willing to cajole her into coming to school?
Les Says: No – no favourite teachers, unless you count my sister-out-law, who teaches there, but she’s been trying to get her there all year (this kid has never liked school, anyway).
Ky DID cave a little, and called The Sire’s work and left a message, which he didn’t return.
I start the “lawyering up” anew on Monday. Fingers crossed, I’m still hoping there’s a way out of this, that does not include filing for bankruptcy..
May 10th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
(((hugs))) What a royal mongrel.
How motivated is Kyla in her education? Have you considered home-schooling? At least your sis-in-law could keep an eye on the level of the work she’s doing.
It’s something to discuss anyway.
The house – eek. You need one of those financial advisors who specialise in STD’s – sexually transmitted debt.
Contact the bank, if they’ll discuss anything with you, and get everything in writing from them, don’t accept verbal agreements or anything they say.
Is there any possibility of fixing the house up and renting it out? Or selling it privately without the banks being involved like a long-term repayment scheme?
Could you convince the bank to write off the debt depending on how much is left owing?
Les Says: Thanks, Jayne – I appreciate all the helpful advice.
Ky was homeschooled for a few months in grade 5. She did very well. I had a lot of help with that, and I thought we had the problem solved… but she really missed her friends and social interaction.
I did suggest that again a few weeks ago, but she refused – again, because she would miss seeing kids her age.
All of your “house suggestions” have already been suggested as well. The best case scenario is that the original agreement will win out, and I won’t have to worry at all. I’ll be speaking with a real-estate lawyer about that tomorrow.
If I AM stuck with it, the next step will be to have the courts remove The Sire from the deed if possible, to allow me to sell the place as is, assuming one of my two offers to take over the mortgage actually goes through.
If not, I have people willing to make it livable and retrofit the top floor to rent out. Ky and I would have to move in, of course, which neither of us wants – please keep your fingers crossed for Solution #1.
May 10th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Wish I had something useful to tell you, or had an inside line on the next Powerball, but I don’t. Hope things get better. Staying in bed never really helped me much and I never had any luck with banks either. Hang in there.
Les Says: Things feel a little better now that I’ve got a plan to work with (see my reply above to Jayne’s comment for the skinny…).
Thanks for the support, Descartes. It really means a lot.
May 11th, 2009 at 3:03 am
It’s not fair that this has to happen to you guys. I know how she feels, I had to make a similar decision when I was around her age. It’s not easy to have a father like that, but I know you guys are strong and will pull through.
Les Says: Thanks, Jay… I keep repeating that mantra of my Mom’s to myself – “It’ll all work out, one way or another.” It helps (for the most part), but not being able to do anything for the poor kid is just killing me.
I’ve pulled her out of school temporarily until I can get her to her doctor and get the sleep issue solved – she’s out of bed, now, but can’t sleep at night. At. All. The school officials have been more than kind, even not knowing exactly what’s going on.
This will all work out… it’ll all work out… it’ll all work out….
May 11th, 2009 at 7:00 am
It sounds like Ky is mourning- I say let her. Talk to the school and maybe her doctor about letting her stay home for as long as she needs to. She sounds smart enough to know when she’ll be ready to get going again.
Les Says: You’re psychic, right? See my reply to Jay’s comment above…
And thanks, Denise – everybody – for making me feel a lot less alone.
May 11th, 2009 at 8:11 am
No, I am not psychic, too bad… but I have raised 3 daughters…we are all here (in a strange way) for you, Les
Les Says: No, actually, it’s really not “strange” at all. It’s seems very normal (to me) that my support comes from what my mother calls my “imaginary friends”. I wish there were a way for me to let you all know what that support means to me. I suppose, though, that perhaps you do know, after all… I imagine us all to be of similar ilk, or we wouldn’t keep coming back to each other, would we?
Thanks for always coming back…
May 12th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
I like the idea of being your imaginary friend. I like that a lot.
I’m so surprised that he is being such a jackass. I suppose I could sort of understand him treating you — another adult — that way (that’s completely effed up, but I think you know what I mean), but his own daughter? That’s very sad and depressing.
I hope this funk passes sooner than later.
Les Says: This IS pretty much how he started treating us way back when… he went “weird”, and didn’t want to fix things. I never did understand why, but we’ve sort of since jokingly referred to “since the Body Snatchers came…” When it’s between laugh or cry, we generally prefer to laugh – or try to, anyway.
It’s been back and forth ever since between him and Ky, but now he’s gone from “weird” to something far beyond that. It’s been seven years already. I don’t think the man I used to know and love is ever coming back.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:22 am
I don’t really have any worthy advice but I will say what first came to mind. Jesus Fuck!
Les Says: Yeah, I said that a few times, myself… Maybe if enough of us say it all together, it’ll work like those magic “killing words” in Dune, and the bastard will just smarten the hell up and pay for his own damned house.