They’re gonna kick me outta Canada…
A friend of mine emailed this link to me: The Globe and Mail Canada Quiz 2005
It’s a “test”. How much do YOU know about Canada? I thought, “Hey, this is cool! I wonder how my Asian/British/American Imaginary Friends will do on this?”
And then I took the test…
Let’s just say my score was equivalent to Bad Canadian! Bad! Bad!
I hope all my Non-Canuckian buddies do worse. For my sake, at least…
I have to clean this today.
I’m afraid to open it. I’m so afraid to open it, that it’s been taped shut so that I can’t accidentally open it.
There’s… stuff… in there. Dead stuff. Somewhere, somehow in the now distant past of last spring (maybe…?) my freezer got shut off. I didn’t figure it out until I decided to move it from what is now The Schoolroom into the laundry room.
As we were moving it, the lid was accidentally flipped up and Kyla dissolved into a puddle on the floor as the result of breathing the noxious gas that enveloped her head.
We’ve been talking about cleaning it out. Talking.
If a friend comes over, she and Ky talk about conniving someone into driving it far far away (covered in many many layers of duct tape, of course, as a courteous warning to anybody that may stumble across it), and dropping it in the bush, or a field. Artsy a thing as that would be to do, I had to put the kibosh on it.
I also had to nix the idea of “dropping it off” at a used appliance store for disposal, which prompted a discussion on why you just don’t unload your rotten food on unsuspecting people because you’re afraid to open the freezer. You just don’t.
Which means, I gotta clean the thing. Today.
I have a game plan involving moving the thing out to the balcony and pouring vinegar into it to diffuse the situation. I’m going to leave the lid open and come inside for an hour or so, perhaps taking small home-videos of the birds falling out of sky to land on the roof. At least we won’t starve…
If I can stand to be out there with the thing after that, I shall don industrial strength rubber gloves and move the… stuff… into a trash bag.
I think I may have to get drunk tonight.
**** LATER ****
So, I figure it’s safe to go out, and I go out armed and armoured. Trash bags, rubber gloves, metal garbage pail circa 1957 that has survived lobsters, trash can fires, and 50 years of various other kitchen mishaps. I inherited this pail early, at my insistence. Life without it would not be worth living. It’s sort of like the relationship a hitchhiker has with his towel.
When I get out there, I decide I can survive the stench. I also discover this:
Some JERK threw his trash up onto my ROOF!
I am not impressed, to say the least as I have to sacrifice a trash bag to bag HIS crap that split the bag open when it hit the roof.
I pulled about a dozen plastic containers out of that freezer. As I lifted each one out, the lid would slide off and the liquified contents of the container would pour out. I considered the Wrath of Mother Nature and then I actually thought about washing these containers out rather than putting them in a landfill. For about 2.4 seconds, I actually thought about doing that.
Mother Nature and Planet Earth be damned. Those things are now sandwiched into several layers of green garbage bags, shopping bags, and some JERK-with-a-Great-Throwing-Arm’s garbage.
I think I can handle it from here, now. I just have to bail it out and scrub it. Then I’ll pray a little bit.
Then I’ll get drunk.
Random Song-for-the-Day: “Wake Me Up When September Ends” – Green Day
1. Les needs good public relations
2. Les needs the same information a simple client would need…
3. Les needs to be reviewed and verified.
4. Les needs federal approval from the US Nuclear Regulatory Commission…
5. Les needs to be run with proper user.
6. Les needs to raise a minimum of £2000.
7. LES needs your help in maintaining the reliability of the electrical system
8. LES needs to replace faculty who have retired or are retiring
9. Les needs to take a long look in the mirror.
10. Les needs parent foster care.
11. Les needs to be flown in by helicopter.
12. Les needs an income while [s]he is getting the credentials.
13. LES needs you to participate, or we will cut the program short!
14. LES needs it.
15. what LES needs is some tea rooms like they have in Vancouver and Amsterdam.
16. Les needs to be investigated by the Alcohol Beverage Control.
17. Les needs a wide variety of things.
18. LES needs work.
19. Les Needs to Know.
20. LES needs to include the physical processes.
21. Les needs your advice.
22. Les needs functional, complicated underwater housing.
23. Les needs to oil the Chenbot more regularly.
24. Les needs to get some idea of how many people plan to come.
25. Les needs 81.
26. Les needs a date.
27. “Les Needs More”
28. Les needs a rest.
29. Les needs to read Reforming Project Management more often
30. Les needs this as soon as possible.
31. LES NEEDS TO GO ALONG WITH [HER] STAFF
32. Les needs feedback from people in positions
33. Les needs to get an idea of interested parties.
34. Les needs less, we need more!
35. Les, Needs Timing Chain.
36. Les needs that ASWA satpic stuff like now!!
37. Les needs to suck it up
38. LES needs to obtain a “substantive commitment”
39. Les needs to take some credit.
30. ‘Les needs help’
31. Les needs strong men to help check the permit numbers.
32. LES needs to include a contingency factor
33. Les needs money to make phone calls, send letters and buy personal necessities.
34. Les needs to hook up again with Mr. Rollins.
35. Les needs to know what the 60-amps is used for and whether the booth needs to be hardwired or has a 3-prong connection.
36. Les needs to increase my upload file size limits, please
37. Les needs a “refresher” trip to the USA
38. Les needs to take into account both conduction and convection
39. Les needs to prepare drawings that we can show people
40. LES needs spatial filtering
41. Les needs all the help [s]he can get
42. Les needs update
43. LES needs.
44. Les needs to take direct action
45. Les needs. to . be added in chapter VIII.
46. Les , needs , practices and. understandings
47. Les needs to build a stage and a pole for Shirley.
48. LES needs only a “plausible strategy”
49. Les needs to be released dependent
50. Les needs to cleanse [her]self inside out with holy water
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52. Les needs to relinquish …
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56. (LES) needs to be solved,
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63. Les needs no introduction …
64. Les needs to retire and go golf or something.
65. Les needs to change things
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67. Les needs a couple more volunteers
68. Les needs to collect some money
69. Les needs a good slap tho
70. LES needs to be returned by this date
71. LES needs to come in direct contact with something acidic
72. Les needs a complete year
73. Les needs games
74. Les needs to go in the room of mirrors.
75. Les needs to go looking for something special
76. Les needs….. A BIGGER HARD DRIVE
77. Les needs to lose x amount of fat
78. Les needs to toughen up a bit.
79. Les needs to revive Friday night Hooters.
80. Les needs a lot of clues it would seem.
81. Les needs to shut up, play bass, and let someone else sing for a change
82. Les needs to dump them.
83. Les needs to do good on these claims
84. Les needs to represent
85. Les needs to let out the leash
86. Les needs to make a visit to this post.
87. Les needs to think about it
88. LES needs a pH of less a 3 in the stomach
89. Les needs to find a good DC soon.
90. Les needs cosmos pizza
91. Les needs to get some advice from Eddie on how to help
92. Les needs to test a soft “m” shaped end.
93. Les needs quick cash advance
94. Les needs a faster computer
95. LES needs to look at this man as being the perpetrator.
96. LES needs to process
97. Les needs a loyal gay male friend.
98. Les needs one!!!!!
99. Les needs to quit moonlighting.
….and the BIG ONE…..
100. Les needs something else to do.
This one came from Suzi, but I kind of went overboard with it…
Random Song-for-the-Day: “Pure Morning” – Placebo