The Bee Keeper

The Bee Keeper & Hives
The Bee Keeper & Hives

My dad was the youngest of the six boys, and the only kid younger than he was, was my Aunt Lynne – the only girl in the family – and probably pretty much spoiled for it.

Since my Dad was the youngest of the boys, he was the one left on the farm to help out at the start of the War. As a sideline, my grandfather kept a small stand of trees that he sold timber off of. My father’s “sideline” was bees.
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Satch Is Rather Funny in his Own Right

sudoku

Ruby’s nephew, Satch, is a lot like she is when it comes to being funny. Just like Ruby, he sometimes comes out with incredibly hilarious one-liners, and then wonders why everybody is laughing.

The last time I saw him, we got talking about Sudoku, and how it both fascinates me and frustrates me at the same time. Ruby won’t even attempt it. Satch, on the other hand, is fairly addicted. During the conversation, where he was trying to extol its merits to Ruby, and explain the fascination part to me at the same time, he made me laugh out loud by saying, “There’s ‘easy’, ‘medium’, and ‘hard’, and even the ‘medium’ is hard.”

When he and Ruby got talking baseball, though, that was all the cue I needed to beat a retreat. Ever since that time when I was a kid, and I got hit in the face with the ball and managed to hit myself in the head with the bat, all in the same play, I’ve considered baseball to be both a dangerous and a boring sport. Apparently, to think that way, you must be me. At least I am unique.

Anyway, as I was putting my shoes on to leave, Satch and Ruby got discussing a particularly tall player in the major league to whom some “rule” should not be applied, simply because of this player’s unfortunate (in this case, anyway) height.

And Satch said, “They keep striking him out below the knees. And it ain’t fair, ‘cuz his knees are way up to here!”

I think I was still laughing at that one when I unlocked my door.

Random Song for the Day: “Think I’m in Love” – Beck

What the Heck IS This Thing?!

Freaky-Deaky Thing
What is this?!

I know, I know, Suzi – I told you she was letting me take her picture. Which she did. Sort of. It was the most I could talk her into; sorry.

But isn’t that a freaky-deaky whatever-it-is? *I* know what it is – La-la-la! Ahem. I know, now, anyway, but it took forever to get it out of Ruby. She was right stoned on coffee last night, I swear.

She found it day before yesterday. Er… Saturday. No, no; it was Friday… oh, let’s let her tell it.

I hardly slept a wink the other night. What night was that…? I don’t remember, now – that just drives me crazy.

Me: What the heck is this freaky-deaky thing?!

(laughing)

That’s exactly what *I* said! Isn’t that the cat’s whiskers? Guess what that is! You know where I found that?

Well! I went out to get the paper on Friday- that’s the night I couldn’t sleep!

Me: Friday night?

No. Thursday night, which was why I was so late gettin’ the paper in on Friday. The paper boy always leaves it in the breezeway there, on the table, you know. And when I went out there, this thing was sittin’ on top of the paper…

And I thought, What the heck IS this thing?! And then I saw it was the sports pages out of the Toronto Star it was sittin’ on top of!

(laughs and claps her hands together)

Me: I’m sorry; I don’t follow…

Well, Satch had been here to mow the lawn! And I was so tuckered from the night before, that I was sound asleep and I didn’t even hear the lawn mower, can you believe that?

Me: You mean, your nephew, Satch?

Yes! (laughing) Well, he always brings me the sports pages from the Toronto Star! So, he’s the one that left this thing, wasn’t he? It was on top of the sports pages, and the sports pages were on top of the regular paper that the paper boy brought!

Me: Aaaah! So… what is it?

That’s what I asked Satch, didn’t I?

Me: So, you did see him, then?

No, I didn’t see him! I told you; I slept right through the lawn mower! So I called him on the phone, and I said, “What the heck is this thing?!” (laughing)

Me: Well, what the heck IS it?!

(more laughing and hand clapping)

GUESS!

… and that’s what she wants you to do.

Random Song for the Day: “Unplayed Piano” – Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan