Categories
Little Bits of Stupid

Look What I Got for Christmas!

The Hummingbird
She Followed Me Home… Can I Keep Her?

Meet “The Hummingbird”. Isn’t she gorgeous? I stole her from The Fly-Girl. For the moment, at least, The Fly-Girl doesn’t seem to miss her enough to send the cops after me (hmmm…. 16….. and therefore, clinically insane…. maybe in a few years I’ll be relieved if someone steals The Turkey out from under me), so I’m pleased all the way around. We “borrowed” her for the last week of the Christmas school holiday, and I’ve somehow managed to finagle an openish living arrangement. I do not want to give her back.

Maybe it’s that I have that Nanny, now? Not that The Hummingbird is a Nanny in her own right, but I believe she constitutes at least half a Nanny, at least, with The Turkey picking up the rest of the slack. Yes, temporarily, at least, I no longer need remind my own progeny (for the eighteenth time) that she hasn’t done her chores yet, to have her grumble, “Yeah, whatever…” and continue to sit there doing nothing, only to tell me a half hour later that I did not tell her what her chores were.

Now, I say, “Ky can you do the di-” and she’s half-way to the kitchen. Followed by The Hummingbird to help her.

AND!

This morning one kid brought me my coffee (and said Good Morning! Can you believe that?! I KNOW!!!), and the other one ran me a tub (!!!).

AND!

When I got home from work today… okay, you’re not gonna believe this, but I swear it’s true…. supper was cooking.

I KNOW!!!

Random Song for the Day: “Boom Boom Boom Boom” – Vengaboys

9 replies on “Look What I Got for Christmas!”

Dammit, Les. *I* want half a Nanny!

Les Says: Well, you’d think “half a Nanny” would be better than none, right? Problem seems to be that half a Nanny only works if the other half is around. Now, you know why I don’t want to give that kid back.

Oh, you and your nannified butt need to get down here now! Do you think these two could handle a few hours with a wild impetuous eight year old? Guitar Hero & Star Wars Xbox will be played, and we can go wreak havoc and write stuff about stuff, and I’ll even cook meals with dishwasher loading nanny help!

Les Says: Handle an eight-year-old of ANY ilk?! These two have it in the bag – they handle ME, don’t they?!

We’ll have to shut the power off to make them see food, though, if Wii and/or Xbox will be involved.

DISHWASHER?! You’ll spoil my slaves, Elle, Jeez!

I have a Hummingbird-aged person living here, but she needs a nanny of her own. I’d be happy if she could just keep the parmesan cheese off the furniture and the bathroom walls free of makeup smudge.

Les Says: Apparently, that phenomenon only manifests itself under the roof of “Real Mom”. “Fake Mom” somehow magically imparts the ability to act less “teenagery”.

Damn dear, you look like a teenager to me! I love a mature wine.

Les Says: Even though I know how flattering a dim room can be, I am still thrilling at the compliment, Mushy! Thank you, sincerely. 😀

Well, that sounds like you’re gettin’ a great deal there. I could use one of them myself sometimes.

Les Says: Tell ya what, Hairy… if she starts to piss me off, I’ll sell her to you. FedEx will ship kids, right?

I want one. But mine needs to be less pretty or a boy because I have an 11 year-old boy in the house and he’s got hormones and I don’t want drool all over the floor.

Les Says: Are you kidding me?! You think what you have in your house is HORMONES?! In comparison to TWO FEMALE TEENAGED HALF-A-NANNIES?! I will trade you both for the boy. I may lose my Nanny, but I could probably afford to rent two REAL Nannies with the savings… and then there’s the “no angst” factor. Yeah, send him up, Aimee.

I need to get me one of those but mine has to be less pretty too. Just because…;)

Les Says: One of the Half-a-Nannies just “did” my hair. I don’t “do” my hair. She took 10 years off me, I swear to God.

In other words, even if she uglied up, you can’t have her. Mine, mine, mine. Forever.

It’s all a plot! Or too much head shaking. It all looks like fun though, at least from this distance.

Les Says: Right on – another Conspiracy Theorist! Dale, I should have known.

It’s fun from close up, too, actually – although I have to grow accustomed to my brain sliding around inside my skull…

It felt great to find the time to write again. Happy New Year!!!!

Les Says: Hey, Tony!! Nice to have you visit again! I’m glad you’re back to blogging, even if sporadically. I can’t see you on stage (yet- but you just wait), so I depend on the laughs your occasional posts afford me. You crack me right up (yeah, like I need more “cracks”- LOL!).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *