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Bloggers Say the Darn’dest Things…

Posted by Les Becker on October 8, 2008 in Blog-Family, Little Bits of Stupid |
"Where You Caught That Mystery Virus..."

“Where You Caught That Mystery Virus…”
Taken December 18, 2007 with Canon PowerShot A550

Bloggers are pretty freaking funny. Lucky for me, ‘cuz I’ve been short of time of late, and recuperating after finishing The Waitress, the Whiskey & the Handcuffs. So I spent a little of what time was left over after “re-charging” (ahem…*) picking through my comments of last year. I’m paying homage to a bunch of my Blog Family members and a few others with this list, just because it proves they may be more crazy than I am.

These are great writers, all, and I hope you’ll visit them – ummm… although OldGuy’s site is slightly kaput at the mo’. No, it wasn’t my fault. I don’t think, anyway.

Oh, and Julie may be AWOL. That probably is my fault.

OldGuy of OldGuy’s Tree House:

“Oh, I like Ruby’s mother, I really do. And headless, blood-spurting dancing chickens.”

“I’m getting old and my bladder isn’t what it used to be.”

“Actually I’d like to be there when they replace the skylight coz I wanna make faces and fire paper clips at them.”

“So you walk to the retirement home every time you go out ?”

“Geez, between the powerful zoom and your nifty reshaped eyeballs you must be able to see all the way to Moosonee.”

“Whack job eh ? Well, at least I’m in good company.”

“There was that one year when we didn’t get snow in April … oh no wait, that was in Hawaii.”

“The trick to getting through vacuuming is to imagine the dirt is trying to destroy the universe and you are a hero armed with a powerful weapon that will foil it’s evil plan.”

Mushy of Mushy’s Moochings:

“You must have or witnessed chickens being killed, because I have and you are dead on.”

“You have to love ’em…they’ve been around too long not to.”

“I was intrigued, first of all, that anyone could stay in a bathtub that long!”

Rhea of The Boomer Chronicles:

“I think it was the eggs hanging down, not the hummingbird, that clinched the grand prize.”

“Was it the drugs?”

“It’s a pretty groovy haircut.”

Denise of Not What It Seems:

“I want to know about the donkey.”

“Since I don’t know the whole situation, I will give you a hippie/granola crunching response.”

MotherPie of, well, MotherPie:

“I was the flower girl in the Marlboro Man’s wedding (he was one of the non-smoking Marlboro Men, I think).”

Suzi of What It Shwas:

“I swear I can smell the pee-soaked straw.”

“I sure hope you made a video of the rat vs. cat match.”

“You picked the wrong time to give up booze.”

“Might I suggest cloning yourself?”

“Mmmmmm. I’m suddenly craving eggrolls and calamari.”

“You can’t really consider a camera “tested” until it’s been to Mexico, though.”

“I enjoy the shark’s lipstick, too.”

“It’s so much harder to learn new stuff when there’s already so much stuff packed into your brain!”

“Tell Kyla to quit floofing her kid dander all over the place. Geez.”

Shrinky of Shrink-Wrapped Scream:

“Beer – lots, it’ll help no end.”

“Don’t do it – you know it makes you cranky!”

“So I know you’ve written to me, but I haven’t a clue what..aarrgghhhh!!!”

“Fornicating pigeons are far more my style..”

“Hey, I just won an award today!!! Dead chuffed, I am.”

“I’ve sent the lear jet – but bring your own freakin’ chair!!”

“God my head hurts. I’m gonna be driving around half-pissed for the rest of today.”

“Sure, life is shit at times, we’ve all got to deal with it. I deal with it by drinking a bucket of wine.”

BeckEye of The PopEye:

“I’ve never seen any riding the trains, just walking on the tracks. Oh, and swimming in the nacho cheese at Taco Bell.”

“If I put as much effort into finding paying gigs as I do into writing silliness on my non-lucrative blog, I’d be living in the West Village instead of above a porn shop in Brooklyn.”

“A subway rat would’ve eaten all 3 of you without batting an eye.”

“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it burn like a wicker chair?”

“Your camera needs a name? Uh, Federwhore, maybe?”

“Way to make me feel like a loser!”

“Not gloating or anything. Wait, yes I am.”

“Say ‘feces’ instead of ‘shit.’ It’s such a fun word to say. Or ‘turds.'”

“If someone threw a quarter at my ass, it would probably never be seen again.”

Julie of What They Don’t Tell You in Film School:

“I had a bathroom modeled a few years back, which was around the time I learned to pee in a coffee cup.”

Deni of Last Girl on Earth:

“I just took the test and I’m a purple brain too.”

* * *

Oh, and yeah… I’m employed again. Twice over, as matter of fact. Yes. Two jobs – how the hell did that happen do you think?!

Random Song-for-the-Day: “Good Riddance” – Green Day

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