How It All Went Down (Raising Itself Up in the Process)…

How It All Went Down (Raising Itself Up in the Process)…

Dreamy

“Dreamy”
Taken August 9, 2008 with Canon PowerShot A550

As I sit here at 10:14 AM, with my second Cuba Libre half-full/half-empty – pick what suits you (Now, don’t be mad, Mom. I work nights. This is my 10 PM, remember?) – I’m trying to reflect on 2008, choosing words that actually describe it properly. The only words I can come up with are, *Incredible* Year.

They don’t do the year justice. “Amazing” comes to mind, as well.

I’ve changed more in this one year than I have in all of the previous 40-odd, I believe. I’ve changed with a purpose – rebuilt myself – rarely falling back into my “old” self; again, on purpose. And, truthfully, there are few… (two, maybe…?) people that I bother to do that for anymore.

I can confidently say that there is not a single person walking the planet that really knows me. The closest to knowing me would, of course, have to be The Idiot Child, but when you smush two human beings into one room and take away their walls and their sunlight, they have to kind of get to know each other. The alternative would be to kill each other.

Kyla has become more “The Mom” than “The Kid” over the last few months. She makes sure I get to work on time… that I have meals (not always on time, mind you)… that I’m wearing clean underwear, and that there’s nothing gross stuck in my teeth, or hanging out my nose. She tells me what my chores are and when to do them. The only real “Mom” thing I do is get her to school – and that’s because, otherwise, she wouldn’t go at all.

We don’t argue or fight. Ever. She’s fourteen. We’re obviously not normal, are we? Ah well… “normal” is over-rated, anyway.

Ruby knows me best, next. She’s the only real face-to-face friend that could say that, I guess. Actually, now that The Fly-Girl has flown, she’s pretty much the only real face-to-face friend at all, here in good ol’, bad ol’ Sault Ste. Marie, and I like it like that, I truly do.

I’m changing, for the most part, in preparation to leave this little city. I’ll keep a “base” here until Ky is out on her own, and then that will go, too. I’ve been saying that for years, now, but it’s only been in the last year that I’ve done anything about it. Plans have been made, laid down, dissected into the smallest possible steps, and I’ve slowly been picking away at them.

Now, when I compare who I was a year ago today, to who I am now, it’s astounding. I’m much more like my blog “persona”, now, for one thing. I’m “slightly exaggerated”. LOL! Strange description, I suppose, but I like it very much.

I begin traveling *for real * in March, with a trip to Detroit. That seems small, written here, but it isn’t, at all. That’s big. I’ve literally never been anywhere (I can’t count the week-long school trip to Montreal, because I was drunk for most of it, and besides, that’s where my fear of airplanes hit me in the face, and I’ve had to negate the parts I remember – screaming comes to mind.).

I’ll be flying to New York City sometime in the fall – most likely the first week of October. In between, sometime this coming summer, I will be setting fire to Suzi’s back yard, in Minnesota.

Yes. 2009 is the year that I will begin meeting my “Blog-Family” face-to-face. Finally. And I don’t want them to meet the Me that once was. I don’t like that person, so why would they? I’m not that Me anymore, and all it took was a little bit of On-Purpose Hermitization.

I will be the blogger they have come to “know”, so to speak. Slightly exaggerated. Says “shit” a lot (granted, that’s a carry-over, but it’s a really good word – just ask The Pop-Eye.).

Except I won’t say “shit” in front of their kids. Unless their kids say “shit” first, and then I will try my damnedest to be a good influence and say, “Don’t say ‘shit’ – that’s a bad word.” Then again, maybe I won’t… ๐Ÿ˜€

Yes, 2008 has been my best year, yet. The happiest. The most lucrative. The most “step-forwardest”. The last time I said something even close to that in this space (don’t look for it – I “disappeared” it long ago…) my entire life and being turned upside-down and inside-out and it took a year (and Ruby) to set me straight again, but I’m not concerned about jinxing myself, this time.

I make my own luck now.

So… highlights of 2008?

I bought The Prissy-Van. ๐Ÿ˜€

I lost my father. ๐Ÿ™

I dumped a bunch of nasty-bad memories. ๐Ÿ˜€

I lost the sunlight. ๐Ÿ™

Oh, and I got the WordPress Stats Plugin – so I can now give (to those of you that may give a shit) my Top Ten Posts for 2008. The list is not completely accurate, as I didn’t install it on January 1st (or even in January – truth be told, I don’t remember how long I’ve had it), but it’s interesting to see.

The post titles and views are above and below each other, rather than side-by-side, only because I can’t be bothered to go in and fix the code that “clipmarks” puts in there, but I guess you’ll manage to figure it out.

And if you can’t see it at all, it may be because you’re not browsing with Firefox. (Bad, Bad, BAD!)

Oh, and there’s 13 rather than 10, simply because of the three-way tie at the bottom, there.

And, by the by, I am SO sick of that post at the top. There are more freaking “pierced nose” searches through google than I ever wanted to know about.

Oh, yeah…. Resolutions? Two:

1) Get on that plane in October without screaming, crying, or getting drunk first.

2) Quit using so many freaking quotation marks on my freaking blog.

Random Song-for-the-Day: “Everybody Have Fun” – Wang Chung

P.S. It’s now 11:59… it took an hour and forty-five minutes and a third Cuba Libre to write this crap. I’m having another one. Cuba Libre, that is – not crap.

Happy New Year!!

The Bear Hunter

The Bear Hunter

Bear Claw

Bear Claw
Taken March 1, 2008 with Canon PowerShot A550

I found this bear claw in a box full of little trinkets and treasures in my father’s closet nearly a year ago. It was in the same box with his pocket watch, along with some other neat stuff.

This was during my Walk-About days, when I would hoof it all the way across town once a week, to see my parents at The Old-Age Home, have a visit, a meal and a story, and then hoof it all the way back. I had a tight ass, then, dammit. Not even a year ago. Man, things change fast.
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Whew!  I Need That “Slow-It-All-Down” Button Again…

Whew! I Need That “Slow-It-All-Down” Button Again…

Image: Bear With Me

Bear With Me Taken July 7, 2008 with Canon PowerShot A550

Busy, wow! I’m loving the night shift, but will have to re-learn “day-shift mode” for the weekends until at least after the New Year, beginning this Sunday, when I start working days for Louie. That will only be on the weekends, mind you – I’m not sure yet how I’ll deal with working 7 days a week, let alone 16 hour days, so we’re going to leave that alone.

I still haven’t managed to fit writing into the schedule… believe it or not, I’m looking at an impending move of household coming up. We have the opportunity to move up two floors in the building. We’d be giving up a sauna, but we’d be gaining walls. Ky misses walls.

We would also be gaining a bedroom each. I haven’t had a bedroom of my own since… geez,
Winter of 1993. For about 3 months. My head is full of plans on what to do with it, since I will be starting out with an empty room.

I was offered my new Landlords’ apartment a couple of week’s ago. He lives on the top two floors of the building, and plans on moving out in January. Would I like the place?

Would I?!

The rent is more than my finances can currently bear, however, and I regretfully decline.

He drops the rent. Hmmmmmm….. Probably not as soon as January, I sez.

He gives me the lowdown: The third floor has its own bathroom and bedroom, and a small kitchenette, he tells me. It was once a bachelor apartment, and would be perfect for the Idiot Child and the Oogily Bay Girls to hang out in. Apparently, the New Landlord is perfectly aware that my home is the Clubhouse of Oogily Bay, more often than not: the main hangout of 7 teenagers (Oogily Bay + Ray), and not only has no problem with it, but is using it to pimp out this new apartment to me.

And it’s working.

And *I* would have a bathtub again! Oh. My. God.

What will I do with four walls and a closet of my very own, though…? I’m thinking of turning Japanese as far as decor goes. Ideas?

Not-So-Random Song for the Day: “Turning Japanese” – The Vapors