Jul

11

My Mom is a Biker-Chick…
Maude on her Hog
Maude on her Hog

Maude on her Hog
Photo copyright either My Brother the Trespasser or My Sister Tootie
(Maude can’t remember who was standing behind the camera…)

I drove down to Teeny-Tiny Town today, having had no sleep since… well, I’m not certain when, but I’ve been writing – really writing – for real writing, so No Sleep Disease isn’t exactly a bad thing. This time.

On the way down, I saw a small plane tipped over on the four-lane median strip, surrounded by a single fire truck and a couple of cop cars. I thought I might be hallucinating at first, but then remembered that if that was the case, my imagination would have turned it into an airliner. I ought maybe check the news to be certain (I assume a plane landing on the highway might be considered news around here, anyway), but I think it’s safe to say I actually saw what I think I saw.

I think.

Lemme check…

….

….

Yup. It’s good to know I’m not completely nuts. Ahem…*

When I got to Teeny-Tiny Town, though, and saw that photo of my mother in leathers on a motorcycle… well…. that was something I was pretty certain was all in my own mind.

Until she started to laugh, and told me the story…

Seems My Brother the Trespasser (or maybe it was a nephew – I’ve had no sleep, and my mom can’t remember…) bought himself a new ride this past spring, and went down to show it off to my mom and my sister, who were both suitably impressed. Mom was so impressed, in fact, that she told one of the aides in the Nursing Home that it was her hog.

I don’t know why, but the aide didn’t believe her!

Mom said she would prove it, and got the Trespasser/Nephew/Whoever to fit her up, put her on the bike to pose, and then had [somebody] get a couple of copies of this pic printed up. The aide displays her copy on her fridge at home. I stole the other copy, to show you all how cool my mom is…

Look real close now… she’s not pointing at you. She’s giving you the finger (yeah, yeah, she’s flipping the bird backwards – give the ol’ lady a break – she’s 85).

Dad-gravestone-before-mom-diedWe had a visit to the graveyard (my dad’s monument is finally in place – his boat, sailing off into the sunset lasered into it somehow – he would have been right impressed, I think – and it’s an odd kind of comfort to see that boat on there, sailing away…), and went out for lunch before I sneaked off back home, pilfered photo safely tucked away.

On the way back, I saw an upside down tractor-trailer in the ditch, which my brain turned into a crash-landed Borg ship for a minute. The lack of armed militia tipped me back into the real world soon enough, but not before a whole ‘nother story clicked into place, waiting for me to start writing when the current project is put to bed.

Which is where I’ll be going… once I’ve pecked out a few more scenes.

Random Song-for-the-Day: “Graceland” – Paul Simon

Posted in It Helps If the Whole Family Is Crazy, Little Bits of Stupid, Oh Mother...!, Short Fiction, The Father Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

15 Responses to My Mom is a Biker-Chick…

  1. Mushy says:

    Pretty cool!

    My mom fusses at my brother for having one, ‘course both he and his wife have had rather bad accidents. He broke his collar bone and his wife is still nursing a leg bone that won’t heal – been over a year now!

    So, inform yo bro that if you own a bike, it’s only a matter of time before you have to lay it down!

    Les Says: No. Freaking. Way. If he kills himself, *I* get to be the favourite.

  2. Technobabe says:

    I like your mom’s version of flipping someone off. Showed it to hubby. Your mom has such an adorable smile. She makes a good biker chick. Take care of yourself, Les.

    Les Says: Take care…? I’m going to have to hide from my mom, now… a celeb retweeted the link and now a bzillion people have seen my mom give the finger to the internet. I think I might be grounded.

  3. She rocks, Les. Tell her she’s an inspiration to us all!

    Les Says: …and everybody on the planet will start flipping the bird backward while they yell, “Go, Maudie!” It’ll be a compliment, rather than an insult. And peace will reign on earth.

    Yeah.

  4. Suzi says:

    Your mom is a hoot! I like her version of the finger—it’s more direct, you know? It says “this is for you” as opposed to the conventional method, which looks like, “Hey, here’s my finger.” I like it!

    Now what is going on in your area to cause vehicles of all kinds to turn over? A big magnet?

    Les Says: Well, the plane fell from the sky… and then kinda tipped over. It could be a big magnet, I s’pose, but I like to think it’s that beacon I turned on, trying to attract an agent or movie producer. If aliens land on my roof, I think I’ll have to turn the dimmer switch on.

  5. Jayne says:

    That’s fantastic, your Mum looks so great 🙂

    Les Says: You oughtta see her pop a wheelie!

  6. Shrinky says:

    “I’ll be the favourite child!” Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, my kids can so relate..

    Hey girl, with genes like these running through your veins, you’ve got a great head start on all of us. Give her a hug from me, will ‘ya? Great news about the writing hon, I can see you are in good form!

    Les Says: Yeah, yeah… I’m in such good form that I’ve got my two main characters stuck in a car, not speaking to each other. They don’t like each other and they don’t like me, either. I think I might have to kill them both and start over… Again. Sigh…*

    *I* need a hug.

  7. moannie says:

    Go Maudie! And I am practising the backward flipping finger. What an inspiration and here’s me moaning a bit at being 74.

    Les Says: Good God, Moannie – you’re just a young chick, yet! Where’s YOUR motorcycle?!

  8. moannie says:

    Oh, and thank you to David at authorblog for pointing us in your direction…congrats on a mention.

    Les Says: Ah, I just love when David gives me a nod – he makes me feel uber-important and sends a whole bunch of cool people my way!

  9. brian miller says:

    that is awesome! ha. love the smile. congrats on the POTD mention!

    Les Says: Thanks, Brian – Welcome to Where the Walls are Soft…

  10. cardiogirl says:

    Boy the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it? I never would have realized she was givin’ the Salute if you hadn’t mentioned it. I don’t know that you’ll catch me on a cycle at 85 but I think I can handle giving a modified Bird.

    Only 44 years to to until my close up…

    Les Says: I think if you wear a leather jacket and just STAND beside a bike, flipping the bird, you might be able to pull it off. And spit a lot.

  11. Debbie says:

    Super post! Congrats on the Post of the Day mention!

    Les Says: Thanks, Debbie! Nice to see you!

  12. Elle says:

    Man, I have missed SO MUCH! First there’s chickens and deers then illegal fishing, and NOW, Les’ mom is stealth birding everyone wearing leathers, on an actual motorcycle! WOW. I gotta get out more often!

    Les Says: No freaking kidding! I figured you were lost in the stacks.

  13. Denise says:

    I am stealing your mom’s version of the finger for usage throughout the summer.

    Les Says: Use it wisely. And wear leather – it’s a powerful combination.

  14. BeckEye says:

    That’s the most bashful flip-off I’ve ever seen!

    Les Says: Yeah, but if you ignore it, she turns Ninja.

  15. Louise says:

    Ok, the story is great, but the picture makes me cackle. She IS cool! Way cooler than me!

    Les Says: People tell me I resemble her very much. That always flatters me. I wish I was half as cool as my Mom is.

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