Win a Free Autographed Copy of The Waitress!

Win a Free Autographed Copy of The Waitress!

2015-03-28 11.09.27CONTEST TIME!! Comment on this blog post and give the book and contest a mention on your own blog for a chance to win a free autographed copy of “The Waitress, the Whiskey & the Handcuffs”, now out in paperback!

This contest runs until midnight on March 31st, and some time throughout the day on April 1st, I will randomly draw the winner.

P.S. Follow me on Twitter and retweet the contest announcement for a second chance to win!

P.P.S. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!! Share the contest posting on Facebook, and ‘like’ my Facebook page  for yet a third chance at winning a free and funny story!

Enter once, or all three times.

Find where to buy a copy here:

We Have Our Winner!

We Have Our Winner!

Caption Contest
“You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

The winning caption was written by Dale of Passion of the Dale, a fellow Canuckian, I might add. No, I didn’t “fix” it. I’m not that patriotic.

And those that didn’t win, not to mention those that didn’t enter the contest (shame on you!), can get a copy of Natalie d’Arbeloff’s “The God Interviews” by clicking Here.

Congratulations, Dale! I know you’ll love “The God Interviews”.

As will any cats you read it to.

Random song for the Day: “Opera Singer” – Cake

Colour Me Embarrassed…

Colour Me Embarrassed…

"What - Me?  Procrastinate?!"

“What – Me? Procrastinate?!”

Remember this!? Oh, yeah, that! I remember that!

Now.

I posted it on February 11th. Ahem…*

I don’t like breaking promises. I didn’t break this one, thankfully, so much as delayed it. By a loooooong time.

Cardiogirl, my shetbag of a partner in crime and caption-contest-hosting, is blaming herself for this delay. I’m trying to convince her that she didn’t “drop the ball”, as she insists on putting it. We were in this together from the get-go.

And besides… we didn’t drop the ball. It’s more like we just lobbed it back and forth until it went over the fence and got lost in the tall weeds.

Good news, though – we found it! As per the original “rules” of the contest, we have chosen our three favourite captions and we’re expecting our readers to do the actual work and vote for the winner of an AUTOGRAPHED copy of Natalie d’Arbeloff’s fabulous book of cartoons, “The God Interviews”.

Actually, truth be told, we couldn’t pare it down to fewer than four captions, so CG put them in a toy bathtub belonging to her daughter and had said daughter draw the top three. That’s right, the three best captions were pulled randomly out of the tub by a child, folks, so you know this is legit.

Here’s what we ended up with, along with the pic from the contest.

Caption Contest

“Of course I caught you, that’s the deal. You were expecting the Flying Wallendas?”

“Carpet deum.”

“You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

If you click here, you’ll find CG’s post with the voting poll. The poll will stay up until Tuesday, as Monday is a holiday in the U.S. and all the U.S.ers will be beaching or BBQing instead of surfing the net and voting for captions like they ought to be doing, and all the Canuckians will be stuck at work complaining that the Americans got a holiday and we didn’t.

Cuz that’s what we do in Canuckia.

After Tuesday, we will announce the winning caption and attempt to extract a shipping address from the lucky new owner of “The God Interviews”. Then… we will actually (gasp!) ship the book to the winner!

Honest. I swear we will do this.

This time.

* * *

P.S. Carolyn B., over at Drops of Blood wrote a fairy-tale meme and Where the Walls are Soft – Yes! This freaky-deaky blog of mine! – got included! How cool is that?!

Random Song for the Day: “Mr. Brightside” – The Killers

The Big “Extra Copy” Caption Contest!

The Big “Extra Copy” Caption Contest!

Caption Contest

Do you remember when I blogged about receiving an autographed copy of Natalie D’Arbeloff’s book of cartoons, “The God Interviews”?

Well!

A funny thing happened….

My Betchiest of Betches, Cardiogirl, was going through some tough ol’ crap at about that time. I had this idea that reading “The God Interviews” would cheer her up. So, being the groovy-cool broad that I am, I bundled my copy up, all lovey-dovey-like and sent it to her. As a loan, as I was careful to strongly impress upon her in the post-it I stuck to the cover.

The plan was for me to pick it up when we finally meet for coffee. It would also act as somewhat of a guarantee that we would meet for coffee, wouldn’t it? Yes, it would.

I didn’t tell Cardiogirl any of this – I wanted it to be a big surprise in the mailbox.

But –

Shortly after I handed the package to Nice Post Office Lady, well… I sort of kind of already missed my book. It got worse once I got home…

I sat in my comfy chair and turned on the Ugly Lamp. Sheikh, the big, old, fluffy, orange, sneezy cat that owns me, took his cue and crawled up on my lap, snuggling down expectantly.

“Well…?” he asked.

“Well, what?” I asked back.

“Aren’t you going to read the book to me?”

How to tell him? He had sat with me, checking out those wonderful drawings, listening to me perfect my “Natalie voice” (and let me tell you that is one difficult voice to “do” – I’m still working on it), and watching intently as I turned the pages, sniffing at them.

I didn’t know what to say…

“You lost it, didn’t you?” he snorted, disgusted with me.

“I didn’t lose it.”

“Check under the laundry.”

“I didn’t lose it! I… ummm… loaned it.”

He raised his eyebrows at me.

“To who?”

“Whom,” I reprimanded, stalling.

“Don’t give me that crap. Where’s my book, Shet-bag?!” (‘Shet-bag’ is Sheikh’s new favourite word.)

So, I told him the whole story…

“Buy another one,” he said.

“Why? I’ll get it back in a couple of months!”

“I can’t wait that long. Buy another one and let Cardiogirl have the first one. I need to smell God.”

I agreed, finally, but only because I’d been thinking of doing so already. It’s not like Sheikh runs me, or anything. I mean… after all…

He’s only a cat.

So, I bought another copy, asking Natalie to send Cardiogirl one of her really wonderful self-designed postcards, letting her know that she could keep the one I’d sent her. And Natalie emailed back….

To let me know that Cardiogirl had read my original “Natalie” post and bought herself her own copy of “The God Interviews.” Behind my back.

I’d say “long story short” at this point, but I guess it’s too late for that.

We now have an extra copy of “The God Interviews”. Autographed, even!! So, with Natalie’s permission we are going to run a “caption contest” here, Where the Walls are Soft, and Over There at Cardiogirl’s place.

See that cool cartoon at the top of this post? That’s one of the panels in Natalie’s book, and she was gracious enough to send us the “uncaptioned” version, for you all to play with. Think up something cool, profound, funny, spiritual, sad…. what goes with that pic?

Leave a caption in the comments (yes, I know my comments can be a little buggery – if you get that nasty “error” page, hit refresh and it will tell you off for trying to post the same thing over again – don’t worry – I’ll get it.) Then click on over to Cardiogirl’s place and write a different one in her comments if you like. Then come back tomorrow and do it all again.

But for certain ( and for certain!) click over to Natalie’s and see what you could win (Autographed, even!!)! We will choose three finalists and the rest of you can vote for the winning caption on March 1st.

Put your Thinking Cap(tions) on!

Random Song for the Day: “Punk Rock Superstar” – Marcy Playground