Cloud Bread

Cloud Bread

Cloud Bread cooling on a wire rack.

So, I made Cloud Bread. Finally.

I’ve been thinking about this as an alternative to baking bread for a few weeks now (mainly because my yeast is out-dated, and I don’t want to find out that it’s dead, nor do I want to go buy more), and I always have the three ingredients required to make it already. There are thousands of Cloud Bread recipes online. Literally thousands. All of them, with the exception of one that I found, are exactly the same.

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Eggs, Cream Cheese (or, alternatively, Plain Greek Yogurt), and Cream of Tarter

Cloud Bread only requires three ingredients: Eggs, Cream Cheese and Cream of Tarter. Alternatively, you can substitute plain Greek Yogurt for Cream Cheese – for this recipe, I used Cream Cheese.

Separate eggs

Gather your ingredients and separate your eggs – yolks in one mixing bowl, and whites in another (don’t forget to rinse out your egg shells and let them dry. You can add them to compost, or crush them up and spread them around your garden plants to keep the slugs and snails off your tomatoes this summer).

First, they’ll look foamy…

Add 1/8 of a teaspoon of Cream of Tarter to the egg whites, and whip them on high speed with an electric beater until the egg whites form stiff peaks when the beaters are removed.

This takes a while…

First, the mixture will become bubbly and frothy…
Keep whipping. You have a way to go.

Then, it will begin to look creamy…

The mixture will begin to look creamy. You’re not done yet; keep whipping.

Finally!!

Stiff Peaks! There ya go! Took longer than you thought it would, didn’t it?

Mix the cream cheese or yogurt together with the egg yolks.

Next, add 3 tablespoons of either Cream Cheese or plain Greek Yogurt to the egg yolks and beat them together until the mixture is smooth.

Set your mixer to a medium or high speed.

This won’t take nearly as long as it took to make those egg whites stand up…

That was fast!

See? Fast and easy!

Add 1 cup of the egg white mixture to the cream cheese/yogurt mixture.

Next, add 1 cup of the egg white mixture to the cream cheese mixture, and very gently fold it all together until it’s fairly well mixed.

GENTLY stir together!

Don’t whip it all in completely smooth – but also, don’t have any lumps of egg white mix blobbing it all up.

This should be blobby…

Now you can dump in the rest of the egg white mixture and GENTLY stir it all together – but don’t make this very “smooth”; just stir it together enough that you can still identify a few blobs of the egg white mixture.

Drop 6 large spoonsful of the mixture onto a baking sheet.

Use a fairly large spoon or an ice cream scoop to drop blobs of the mixture onto a baking sheet covered with a silicon mat or parchment paper.

This recipe is for 6 pieces of cloud bread, so if you have any mix left over, keep adding to the the six blobs on the baking sheet. When you’ve scooped all the mixture, use the back side of a mixing spoon to gently flatten the blobs to a thickness of around 1/8 to 1/2 an inch, and put it into the oven to bake.

Finished baking!

Bake for approximately 25-30 minutes. You’ll know it’s done when the colour is a golden brown on the top and the sides. As it bakes, the mixture spreads a little bit – the finished rounds are about the size of a hamburger bun, but very thin in comparison.

Cloud Bread cooling on a wire rack.

Move the baked rounds to a wire cooling rack and allow them to cool completely – and then leave them there for at least another hour to “dry”. Yes, they will be kind of damp and soft when they come out of the oven, and you won’t be able to do anything with them at this point – they’ll just fall apart. Let ’em cool and dry for at least 60 minutes.
 

Sandwiches are SO possible! Don’t listen to them naysayers.

Store in a sealed bag or airtight container in the fridge. Don’t wait too long to eat it – I ate three sandwiches over three days, and on the last day, the final two rounds were beginning to seem a little too moist (these can be frozen for up to a month, according to most recipes I’ve read, but I haven’t tried this myself.).

I was really pleased with how well these turned out! One recipe that I had read insisted that Cloud Bread was not sturdy enough to hold up a sandwich – I have to disagree with this, as it worked well for me.

The taste is nothing like any kind of bread I’ve ever eaten – which does make for an odd sandwich, I must admit. It doesn’t taste bad, certainly, but I can’t quite describe the taste, either. A little “eggy” if you think about it while you’re eating it.

Cloud Bread is a nice change… I can’t say it would be something I would make more often than once a month for that change, but it’s quick to make, so if you’re stuck with no bread, and no way to get any, this recipe is certainly worth making.

Have you made Cloud Bread? Let me know down below in the comments, along with what you thought of it and whether you would make it again!

The products and ingredients I used in this recipe can be found by following the links below:

Cream Cheese OR Greek Yogurt
Cream of Tartar
Eggs
Hand mixer
Mixing bowls
Mixing spoons
Cookie sheets
Baking mat OR Parchment paper
Wire cooling rack

Fried Rice

Fried Rice

Fried Rice is a comfort food for me. I first learned how to make this incredibly simple meal when I was about 14 or so – my brother’s girlfriend and I watched an episode of
“Wok with Yan”
on TV and decided we were up to… if only we had tuned in at the beginning of the show, when Mr. Yan instructed the viewers to cook the rice ahead of time, and not throw raw rice in a wok and wonder why it didn’t turn out, um, edible.

Second try was perfect, though, not to mention that I don’t believe I have effed this meal up since, because as long as you cook the rice, it’s hard to eff it up…

Black Bean Burritos

Black Bean Burritos

Kyla taught me how to make this incredibly ugly meal, and boy, is it ugly! It’s so damned ugly that it reminds me of something that the cat hacked up, which is why I not-so-secretly call this stuff Cat Snatz Burritos.

For something so horrifying to look at, though, it sure tastes good! As a bonus, it’s fast, and it’s easy – a filling meal that you can throw together in a flash using an
electric wok, like I use, or a
less expensive stove-top model.

“Ugly Casserole”

“Ugly Casserole”

Sometimes Good Things Look Disgusting

Sometimes Good Things Look Disgusting

3 Ingredients

3 Ingredients

Ugly Casserole is as simple as it gets. You can’t get much more simple than 3 ingredients: ground meat of any kind, a couple of potatoes, and a can of beans.

The ground meat can be anything – what you see here is a combination of ground chicken and ground Ummm. Something – I just can’t remember. Might be turkey.

Preheat your oven to around 350 degrees F.

Meanwhile… mix your ground meat up with whatever spices and/or fillers you generally add. I add onion and garlic powders, pepper and a little hot sauce.

Mix all this around until you think it’s as evenly mixed as it’ll get. Or until you get sick of mixing it. Stick it in the fridge to ponder its last few minutes of rawdom.

It's called a Mandoline Slicer

It’s called a Mandoline Slicer

Scrub a few potatoes really well and slice them up evenly, unpeeled. I like this handy-dandy little whatchamacallit for its speed and the evenly sliced results.

It can be a dangerous beast though if you don’t use a guard. I seem to have misplaced the guard to my slicer, so I have to watch for knuckle shavings in the potatoes.

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Layer the potato slices in the bottom of a glass casserole dish. I use glass to thwart “stickage” later.

Make 2 or 3 layers, dabbing bits of butter or margarine between layers, along with a little salt and pepper. If you have an onion, chop it up and layer that in there, too.

Ewww! and Yuck! and all that...

Ewww! and Yuck! and all that…

Now, take your ball of shmushed-up meat mixture and plonk it right on top of the potato layers.

Yes, raw.

I KNOW!! It’s gross! Plonk it on there, anyway. Now smush it down good and flat and even.

Then, take a fork and poke a bunch of holes into the surface.

If It's Not Ugly, It's Not Done Yet

If It’s Not Ugly, It’s Not Done Yet

Now when you dump your can of beans over the ground meat, the juice will seep down into the forkholes. I don’t know if “forkholes” is a real word, or not, but I like it, anyway.

Now, see, this doesn’t look ugly, yet. Wait for it.

Put a lid on the casserole dish and stick your victim in the preheated oven.

Don't Set Your Hair on Fire Getting it in There...

Don’t Set Your Hair on Fire Getting it in There…

Keep your fingers crossed for about 45 minutes that someone in the house will yell, “What the hell is that smell?” before the whole thing boils over and sizzles itself all over your oven floor.

Nice.

Smart money would have you set a timer and check the thing before it explodes sideways. Me now, I’ve never been too smart with money, so I generally have a mess when I make this.

About half-way through your cooking time – I don’t know… 25 minutes maybe? – you need to check for “done-ness” by poking a longer fork down to the bottom of the dish, and through the potatoes. If the potatoes fight back, you still have a ways to go…

Done and Ugly

Done and Ugly

At this point, though, you should swivel your casserole lid so some air escapes. This would be to help prevent that oven blow-out that I get. Every time.

You’ll know it’s done when you can scoop it out of its cooking dish and it doesn’t resemble bloody brains. Brains are fine, but bloody brains require further cooking time.

It’s done! Enjoy – assuming, that is, that you get the nerve up to put any in your mouth…

Yes, it’s ugly. But it really is good.

Honest.