Fatso Ratso is No More…

5 Things I’ve Learned About Brown Rats That I Didn’t Know Yesterday:

1) A brown rat may not understand English (else why would he not cooperate and stay in the cage once warned of the consequences?), but I know of one that certainly picks up on “change of heart” quickly.

2) A brown rat can scratch you, bite you, and swear at you all at the same time.

3) A brown rat can escape a triple-taped cardboard box in under 15 seconds using the top of his head, hence is best locked into a normally “fun” rat ball (also triple-taped for security) to make the trip to Death Row.

4) A brown rat can be humanely euthanized for a measly 10 bucks.

5) If a brown rat and a cat “get it into it”, the brown rat will win. Even when it was the rat that instigated the war, and even though it won, the rat will hold a grudge, and exact revenge (which is what prompted the final decision to make the trip to Death Row).

I would post details, but I honestly feel guilty. Until I look at poor Patchouli, still creeping around here terrified, no doubt wondering if Fatso Ratso is hiding somewhere, lying in wait.