Wanted: Used Tuba, Suitable for Cat

Cat in a Tuba
Come on; you can do it!



Wanted: Used Tuba, Suitable for Cat – © Les Becker, 2008
Click it! Click it!

My site was reviewed today. The phrase “Cat in a tuba” was the the best thing about it. You can read the review HERE, if you like, along with my comment about it.

Needless to say, the “review” was disappointing. Not because it was a little pissy, either – I expected pissy. Pissy is this guy’s schtick. I mean, he calls his site “I Hate Your Website,” so he’s bound to get a little um… rude. In fact, I didn’t find the “review” nearly as rude as I would have expected.


The few other reviews he has up, at least the few I read, actually have some honest (if pissy) constructive criticism about the site thrown in there. Yes! They actually, actually do! Not mine, though. This guy’s dislike of cats and old people is apparently intense enough, and my blog is boring enough, and my friends don’t like me enough, that my site is not worth any constructive criticism about design, layout, content (other than cats and old people), adspace, whitespace, or anything else that might give me an idea about how it might be improved for readability or traffic.

The only constructiveish thing he mentioned was that I needed an “About Page” – because he didn’t know how old I was or what I do for a living… information that is repeatedly interspersed throughout many entries; not that I could reasonably expect him to read enough entries that he could be guaranteed not to miss those two gems. I’m not sure how knowing my age would make him like my blog any better, but maybe I shall, from now on, end each and every entry with the phrase, “My name is Les Becker. I’m 42.”

Yes, Carl, I’m 42. That’s also “The Answer to The Ultimate Question”, how cool is that?! Pretty cool if you’re me, I guess. I’m not that cool, though. I’d be more cool if I owned a tuba.

Anyhoo, all because of Carl, who is also cool in his own little way, I have set up a separate “About Page” – just for him. I even dedicated it to him. Cuz he’s pissy and cool and inconsistent, all at the same time. That deserves recognition.

And –

I hereby declare that from this day forward, February 14th will now be known as “Cat-in-a-Tuba” Day, in honour of Carl. Oh alright, it can still be Valentine’s Day, too, but only ‘cuz it would be too hard to break you all of the habit. Happy VD, btw, people. You, too, Carl.

My name is Les Becker. I’m 42.

Random Song for the Day: “Something in the Way” – Nirvana

18 Replies to “Wanted: Used Tuba, Suitable for Cat”

  1. Hey, you made me laugh. Good job!

    Les Says: Thanks, Carl! That’s what I like to hear (you are cool, you know – in your own pissy little way.).

  2. Hahaha. me too … I’m Stine. I’m 44.

    Les Says: Hi Stine – thanks for visiting. Ummm “me too”, what? You’re cool? I’ll bet you are. You need a used tuba? I’m confused.

    No, really, though, I’m glad you came by – and especially for the comment: it’s nice to know that people actually read this drivel. 🙂

    Happy 44! Oh, and Happy Cat-in-a-Tuba Day, too.

  3. If the name of his blog were anything but “I Hate Your Website,” then I’d have thought he was pretty mean, but since that’s the whole point, it was pretty funny! I left him a comment.


    One of your Internet friends who only uses a “handle” and doesn’t care about you.

    Les Says: ROTFL!! I KNEW you were a liar, Suzi (if that’s your “real” name). Admit it, you just want me for my Ruby stories…

    I agree about the funny… I knew he’d be crass – he advertises that, and I was surprised he wasn’t more so, truthfully. He even commented, did you notice? Yeah, he’s cool. Ish. 😀

  4. Screw Carl…what the hell does he know…how old is he…12?

    Screw Qassia too…they offered $500 if you got a click in 12 hours after you verified your email address…trouble is, Yahoo blocked there message and I could not get verified until I changed my email address to one I have an Hotmail…screw’em!

    Sorry, you caught me on a 5 beer high after Valentine’s Night out! Peace!

    P.S. What’s Carl’s URL?

    Les Says: Oh, Mushy, ya poor guy…! 🙂 Cheer up. You have BEER! Happy Cat-in-a-Tuba Day to you too. Carl can be reached through the link in the post. Screw it – click here.

    Try not to hurt his feelings too much, ‘kay? You might be right. He might be 12.

  5. Hey Les – nice About Page! Some people use the “100 Things About Me” which is a creative exercise in itself. Like you needed a critic after getting your certification?

    But hey… Stereo Hut? Things change so quickly. Technology, careers…

    Les Says: …names for Valentine’s Day… 😀

  6. Big freaking junior high deal, Carl (if that’s your REAL NAME…).

    Do indeed plan on celebrating Cat in a Tuba Day, however. I may even do two kittens in a french horn. Whoo.

    And I predict that the old people will have the last laugh. Even with our teeth out. I’m Elle and I’m 48. Brasse mon chou, Bubba.

    Les Says: ROTFL!!! “two kittens in a french horn”… you are too cool, ya know that, Betch?!

  7. There’s an awful lot of people out there that don’t like old people, I notice. It never seems to occur to them that someday they might get old.

    Les Says: Right on, Ruby.

  8. So what kind of flowers do you get somebody for “Cat-in-a-Tuba” Day ? And are chocolates appropriate ? Enquiring minds want to know !

    Les Says: You get me daisies – I can’t speak for anyone else. 🙂 Chocolate is a food group, isn’t it? Entirely appropriate any day of the year.

  9. Okay, tell me you did this because you were trying to win 500 Entrecard credits. Les? There’s a difference between sarcasm, humor and mean-spirited writing. I think there is, at least.

    I also enjoyed Ruby’s comment.

    Sounds like Carl is a deck. And not in a good-natured fun way, either.

    This betch is out?!

    Les Says: No, actually, I did it ‘cuz I figured I’d get a bit of a laugh, and because I honestly thought the guy would throw in a few actual opinions about what he thought should change about the place (wrapped in sarcasm, humour and mean-spiritedness, of course). I had requested the “review” a couple of days before his contest went up, so I miss out on that. 500 credits is hardly big enough to be upset about, anyway.

    And Ruby rocks, doesn’t she?

  10. Les, Did you ASK for this review?
    I am going to put my dogs in a flute today and celebrate getting old and fixin’ to die.

    Les Says: Sigh…* Yes, I did. Set myself right up. Now I gotta buy a freaking tuba.

  11. Oh – I’m in trouble. Not only is there no tuba at my place, there are no cats either. Can I still participate? (how old did you say you were?)

    Les Says: ROTFL!! Forty-Freaking-Two, Joe. I KNOW!!! I don’t believe it either! How does a girl get to be 42 and still not own a tuba?!

  12. No tubas here, but we have a hamster and a few dogs. Libby put the hamster in a circular tube and hung it around the Siberian Husky’s neck, but don’t tell Carl! I even took pictures- and would post them but I now know how pathetic that would be…

    Les Says: Oh, I don’t know, Cindy – I once took pictures of a cat in an aquarium, in a hamster ball, in a coffee cup… posted them all. Carl probably would have been impressed! I’m going to post a picture of Sheikh in a tuba – just wait. I swear I will. 😀

  13. Carl said you made him laugh… you made me laugh too. It seemed a logical comment at the time! Thanks for commenting on my comment – your drivel is a fun read…

    Les Says: Aw, hell. Do I ever feel stupid. I read the comments through my admin panel – if I’d had the sense to reread Carl’s and THEN yours, I’d have realized. Duh. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE I’M OLD?! 😀

  14. I’m laughing like a maniac over here. LOVED your response, and the unique kitty picture is priceless. I only hope you’ll create a small button so that you can award other blog writers that coveted cat-in-in-a-tuba designation too. :o) I’m a new reader and have just subscribed to your feed on the basis of this conversation alone.

    High five to you on how you handled yourself! :o)

    Les Says: Wow, thanks, Carolyn! There’s a plan – The Les Becker Cat-in-a-Tuba Award. Given to those bloggers that respect cats and old people and don’t care who knows it, darn it all!

    Thanks for the visit, the subscription, and the all-over Blego petting. Hope to see you again.

  15. Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

    Les Says: Thank you, Alex – I shall do my best. Welcome to Where the Walls are Soft. I hope to see you again soon! 🙂

  16. Hey….I just thought this would be kinda necessary for the website…maybe not but it’s worth a look I think…


    I’m a tuba player myself, so I do have a tuba with which to celebrate, however no cats (as I am horribly allergic). I’ll try to convince my dog to go in the tuba though!


    Les Says: That’s hilarious! I did manage to make my own “Cat in a Tuba” pic, though, as you can see in the Next Post. Thanks for the visit, DJ!

  17. this website is shit because why put it on the internet a cat in a tuba is very cruil

    Les Says: Cats the world over thank you, Pete. You’ve done a great service to them all. Cleaning the tuba was no small job, either.

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