Feb

17

Whole Lotta Rockin’ Goin’ On…
Dad's ipod

…in the Nursing Home, that is.
Taken February 16, 2008 with Nokia 6275i Cameraphone

Yeah, so my dad bought an iPod. My Brother the Trespasser picked it up for him, set it up and showed him how to use it.

Dad spent about three hours playing with it and yelling at us what a “great rig” it was. The volume was so high that I could hear the lyrics from across the room. Every now and again he’d ask if it was his or my brother’s, and did I think he ought to get one for himself? Give him a break – he’s 87.

He may have his days where he can’t remember what happened five minutes ago, but he has no problem with what happened 65 years ago. He told me the “Cabbage Story” again, at my request.

That was a big ship we went Overseas on. Everybody had a job they had to do, and I ended up doing prep work in the galley. You never saw such a big space, either. There’d be fifty soldiers working down there at once, getting the meals ready.

We’d be peeling potatoes, or cabbages, or brussels sprouts. Those little buggers are hard to peel – I still hate brussels sprouts to this day, don’t I, Maude?

Mother: I guess so.

Dad: You’re darn right, I do! I hated having to peel those things. We’d be down there for hours at a time, hunched over, peeling vegetables – it got pretty boring. Now and again we’d get up to shenanigans, like the time that big Mulatto fella almost stabbed me to death… closest I came to getting killed during the whole war.

Mother: Well, what about when you spent all those months in the hospital with Diphtheria?! That nearly killed you!

Dad: Well, there’s a big difference between dying of Diphtheria and getting stabbed to death by a big Mulatto fella, now, isn’t there?!

Mother: I guess so…

Dad: You’re darn right there is!

Me: So how’d you nearly get stabbed to death by a big Mulatto fella?

Dad: I hit him in the head with a cabbage.

(at this point the conversation pauses… as it does every time he tells me this story, because neither of us can stop laughing for a bit…)

We were bored, see? And we got up to a game of catch. We were supposed to be peeling cabbages in our group, and the outer leaves come off just as easy when you toss a cabbage twenty feet across the room to the guy on the other side. I suppose we could have peeled them faster if we hadn’t been fooling around, but it wouldn’t have been as much fun, I guess.

Anyway, I was tossing cabbages back and forth with this other guy, and the cabbage we were using for a ball was pretty much peeled, when this big Mulatto fella come walking in between us, just as I heaved my cabbage across the room. Smacked him right upside the head with it.

Cabbages are hard, too, when all the fluffy stuff is peeled off. He was a big fella, though, and even though it smacked him pretty good, it didn’t knock him over. He turned and looked at me and I knew I was gonna pay for throwing that cabbage.

Then he snatched up a knife and started walking toward me, and I knew I was a dead man.

Mother: You’ll notice he’s not walking around dead about now…

Dad: You shhhh – ush!

Me: Yeah, Dad – how’d you get outta getting stabbed to death?

Dad: I don’t know. He just stopped about half-way and put the knife down. He didn’t even say anything, just walked away. Maybe he thought better of it, or figured I wasn’t worth a court-martial. Anyway, he didn’t stab me to death, so that’s good.

Me: What’d you do then?

Dad: I went to my bunk and changed my pants.

And don’t forget to enter The Big “Extra Copy” Caption Contest!

Random Song for the Day: “Friend is a Four-Letter Word” – Cake

Posted in Oh Mother...!, The Father Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

8 Responses to Whole Lotta Rockin’ Goin’ On…

  1. Mushy says:

    Pretty cool…did they put some Lynyrd Skynyrd on it?

    Les Says: Not so far – but he does have The Wailing Aztecs ( of whom My Brother the Trespasser was once a member ). Click that link for their CD.

  2. cardiogirl says:

    Best ending ever:

    “I went to my bunk and changed my pants.”

    p.s. Your mother’s name is MAUDE?!

    Les Says: ROTFL!! Yes. Maude. 🙂

  3. Tamera says:

    Fantastic story!

    Les Says: Thanks, Tamera! My Dad has many of them. Hopefully, I’ll manage to write them all for him.

  4. Les, this post is PRICELESS!!! I love love love your folks! So what tunes do you have playing on Dad’s iPod?

    Les Says: None but those that The Trespasser loaded as of yet (I forgot my mp3 cable to do a transfer), but he has a bunch of Louis Armstrong, which I would have added. He also has Andrew Lloyd Webber, Payne & O’Byrne, Sarah McLachlan, and Blarney.

    I’ll be adding The Rat Pack, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, Nat King Cole, and Al Hirt from my own playlist next Saturday. Assuming I remember the freaking cable… 😉

  5. Aimee says:

    I think it’s adorable that your Dad has a “rig.” I don’t even own a rig! And as cardiogirl mentioned…the best line ever…I went back to my bunk and changed my pants! Too funny.

    Les Says: Yeah, anything that impresses him is a “great rig”. I hope he doesn’t forget he has it.

  6. char says:

    What a great post! My dad is 77 and he has 3 i-pods, small, medium and large. He’s totally obsessed with them, and is often online finding new songs to download. This is great because he’s slightly deaf and very lonely.

    I’ll bet Apple didn’t know that i-pods would be the savior of the elderly and their families.

    Les Says: You’re telling me! Now, he’ll have something to do while my mom is out playing card shark…

  7. Elle says:

    Perfect ending, your dad is a card.

    Les Says: Yes, he are. 😀

  8. WendyB says:

    I think I heart your dad.

    Les Says: Yeah, he’s pretty easy to heart… 🙂

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