Categories
Little Bits of Stupid

Goddess for a Day

CardioGirl
This Image Stolen Fair and Square from CardioGirl

I got tapped to be Guest Goddess Question-Answerer and Comment-Wrangler over at CardioGirl’s place for today.

EDIT: As CardioGirl has killed her damned blog (Betch), clicking the above link will take you to an internal page on this blog (unkilled). Yes. I stole her comments. They were too funny not to.

Shetbag has a new thang going on over there. I got to go first, which is cool, ‘cuz I really, really, really like to be first at all times.

The New Thang works thusly… CG makes her readers do all the work when she gets lazy. I guess I shouldn’t say that – I thought it was a really cool idea (and she even gave me credit for it, although I don’t really remember coming up with it), and I do like to be referred to as Royalty – mainly because of that “I was stolen from Royalty and later found in a ditch by my adoptive family” fantasy that many kids have.

In my case, it’s true, though. Un-Brother Ken will corroborate the “ditch” part of the story – the rest I had to figure out on my own.

Today, I get “Goddess”, which is even that much better than “Royalty”. Now, I can tell people I was stolen from… ummm… Heaven. Yeah.

ANYway… CG saved my butt – I have no post today, on account of I need a snake picture. Anybody wanna ante up on that? I’ll give you appropriate credit of course.

Snakes. Lots of ’em. In one shot. Please.

Random Song-for-the-Day: “Sweet City Woman” – The Stampeders

Categories
Blog-Family Michigan Real Life U.S.A. Vicarious Tourism Zenishness...

Say “Apple”.

Axe Murderers Don't Wear Plaid - Click to see normal size and more of this gallery.
Axe Murderers Don’t Wear Plaid
Taken March 21, 2009 with Canon PowerShot A550

I know this post is so late that it’s near unforgivable. Here I am at last, though, having killed Photoshop and reanimated it so that I can use it again.

Our Detroit trip shrunk a little… thankfully. My sad attempt at “pre-planning” failed miserably enough that we ran out of time to get all the way to Detroit and back in the few days left of my RTO, so I was ecstatic when Cardiogirl emailed me with, “How about meeting half-way, Betch?!”

She and Mr. C. had decided that an overnight with their three girls as far as Grayling would be a nice little surprise for the family. Imagine being 8, loaded into the car to go to McDonald’s for supper, and ending up miles away in a strange hotel, face-to-face with a couple of whacked-out Canuckians. Surprise!

Ky and I decided we’d go a day early and stay over in Gaylord, simply to experience a certain Chinese restaurant we’d heard nice things about. That stay was worth it, just for the meal, which the hotel paid for. They also gave us our breakfast, a fabulous pool and mittsful of free DVDs to watch. I think we may have fallen asleep in the middle of Movie #4…

On to Grayling….

Check in was for 3 pm, and we were early, so we decided to drive around town. I happened to park directly in front of Ky’s idea of Heaven:

Heaven:  A Whole Store Dedicated to Jerky - Click to see normal size and more of this gallery.
Heaven: A Whole Store Dedicated to Jerky
Taken March 21, 2009 with Canon PowerShot A550

We got back to the hotel at around 1:30, where they let us check in early, and we wandered the most kid-friendly place I’ve been in. Ky started to get nervous over meeting CG’s three girls.

Ky loves kids, but as she says, “You never know if they’re going to be annoying, and what if they are?”

My nerves were shot, too. What if, even after all the blog-comments, and emails, and phone-calls, it turns out that I meet my best Shetbag face-to-face and… we have nothing to say?

What if her husband, whom I really know nothing about turns out to be an arse?

What if her kids are all run-amoks and she just lets ’em go until I want to stomp on them?

What if everybody at work is right, and these people turn out to be mass-murderers who troll the internet as a hobby, looking for stupid Canadian people (like us, for example) to entice into the States, and then they chloroform us and we wake up in the dark somewhere, drugged out, packed in ice, and missing important organs? I mean, they are from Detroit…

In CardioGirl’s post about the trip, she mentions her own misgivings, but she was a little more succinct. “What if she’s lame?” I guess maybe that’s what my own concerns boiled down to, but Canadians do tend to wax eloquent, eh?

Anyway…

After pestering the poor Front-Desk Man over and over, he promised he would have CG call us upon their arrival, so we went back to our room and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And then the phone rang and I climbed up onto the ceiling and clung there, afraid to go meet them. Ky managed to peel me off, dress me up a little, and we went to the pool area, to find CardioGirl, et al, waving and grinning and yes, I even got a hug from the non-hugging Betch, can you believe that?!

And her first words after “Hi!” were: “Say ‘Apple’.” Apparently, the Canuckian accent is funny as hell. And when “Eh?” slips your lips, an American will laugh really hard. Every time.

We spent a most wonderful less-than-24-hours, half-naked in a hot-tub drinking beer (yes, that would be my favourite part), watching Ky have way too much fun with the most well-behaved, articulate, cute, non-fighting little girls I have ever met; shared two meals, and generally got pruney soaking in chlorine.

And that pic up top is the only usable photo I managed in our entire visit.

We are going again.

Soon.

And this time, we’ll make it to Detroit.

(And this time, I’ll buy the beer, Mr. C.)

Random Song-for-the-Day: “Heart of Glass” – Blondie

Categories
Blog-Family Book Mentions Cartooning Contests Little Bits of Stupid The Big "Extra Copy" Caption Contest

Colour Me Embarrassed…

"What - Me?  Procrastinate?!"
“What – Me? Procrastinate?!”
Remember this!? Oh, yeah, that! I remember that!

Now.

I posted it on February 11th. Ahem…*

I don’t like breaking promises. I didn’t break this one, thankfully, so much as delayed it. By a loooooong time.

Cardiogirl, my shetbag of a partner in crime and caption-contest-hosting, is blaming herself for this delay. I’m trying to convince her that she didn’t “drop the ball”, as she insists on putting it. We were in this together from the get-go.

And besides… we didn’t drop the ball. It’s more like we just lobbed it back and forth until it went over the fence and got lost in the tall weeds.

Good news, though – we found it! As per the original “rules” of the contest, we have chosen our three favourite captions and we’re expecting our readers to do the actual work and vote for the winner of an AUTOGRAPHED copy of Natalie d’Arbeloff’s fabulous book of cartoons, “The God Interviews”.

Actually, truth be told, we couldn’t pare it down to fewer than four captions, so CG put them in a toy bathtub belonging to her daughter and had said daughter draw the top three. That’s right, the three best captions were pulled randomly out of the tub by a child, folks, so you know this is legit.

Here’s what we ended up with, along with the pic from the contest.

Caption Contest

“Of course I caught you, that’s the deal. You were expecting the Flying Wallendas?”

“Carpet deum.”

“You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

If you click here, you’ll find CG’s post with the voting poll. The poll will stay up until Tuesday, as Monday is a holiday in the U.S. and all the U.S.ers will be beaching or BBQing instead of surfing the net and voting for captions like they ought to be doing, and all the Canuckians will be stuck at work complaining that the Americans got a holiday and we didn’t.

Cuz that’s what we do in Canuckia.

After Tuesday, we will announce the winning caption and attempt to extract a shipping address from the lucky new owner of “The God Interviews”. Then… we will actually (gasp!) ship the book to the winner!

Honest. I swear we will do this.

This time.

* * *

P.S. Carolyn B., over at Drops of Blood wrote a fairy-tale meme and Where the Walls are Soft – Yes! This freaky-deaky blog of mine! – got included! How cool is that?!

Random Song for the Day: “Mr. Brightside” – The Killers